Synchronicties

I am extremely open minded about the universe.
I have believed in many unusual things.
I'm a bit superstitious and curious about the unexplainable.
I mean don't you ever wonder when the strange happens.
Radom stuff nothing looked for BAM in your face strange.

Years ago my Mother proved to be a psychic no lie.
She awoke in the middle of the night in a panic.
She got dressed and rushed to see my sister in another city.
Her explanation was something is wrong with her.
My sister was fine nothing was amiss.

Having gone to see her Mom returned home.
About a week later there was  knock on the door.
Middle of the night once again my sisters boyfriend.
He had rushed my sister was in the hospital.
My mom is gifted she has proven this to us many times.

My daughter Yasmin is touched also in  simular  way.
When she first discovered it she kept it to herself.
Wisdom and insight in a heart so pure passed on to her.
She has accepted  her gift now with silent thought.
An empath with hugs that can heal any lost  hurting soul.

As for me not so much I'm gifted in different ways.
This Amazing blessed summer has enlightened me.
So many unexpected signs have been put in front of me.
They had been there all along now I see why.
Hindsight has shown me the ones I hadn't noticed.

Pictures of paths Words in Hebrew that spoke to my soul.
Seeing numbers jump out at me time and time again.
Being compelled to do the impossible a dream come true.
It all started long long ago I just didn't see it comming.
Angels all around me always guiding and showing me.

I wasn't looking for any of thease inspirational signs.
I almost missed the messages that my eyes were looking at.
Now my gut  my intuitive self knows and listens to them.
Getting past the I am crazy part has freed me to explore it.
Yes there is a lot that can't be explained it doesn't have to be.

I like to think I am an intellgent woman no flake here.
Don't get me wrong I accept and love who I am just as I am.
The love of my life intellgent man he is accepted me as is.
My journey has been a long one long way still to go.
Signs all along the way prove something is right at last.

51

I was amazed when I checked on this blog 51.
That's the number of post I have written thus far.
I have a lot to say  it has transfered to my Blog.
Yes most can seem like ramblings of ideas wished for.
Some are pointed messages to ground me to remind me.
Life is full of possibilities share them if you can.

I started this as a way to have my say to be heard.
I've written of the good the bad and the miriacles.
The funny the sad and the mundane of me.
In a way I hope whomever reads it is touched by it.
That they can laugh or cry at the amazing thing called living.

Life is not made by us as much as we try to steer it.
It is full of OMG moments it is full of random acts.
You can plan your days around nessairy agendas.
But the times you recall can be what it's really about.
Times we let it just happen with results unplanned.

Just think about it we don't very much at all Think.
We just go with the flow daring not to swim against the tide.
Imagine feeling inspired enough to go the other way.
Finding that it can be done that there is a way.
INSPIRATION is the key comformity be dammed.

I am no expert but I think people who are depressd are lost.
They must feel they have no voice are not heard.
Embarrassed their thoughts sadden them
Feeling normal emotions all jumbled up confused.
Help being needed to dig out of the hole we fall into.

Now envision being able to say it all let it out.
That is what this blog has done for me Freed me.
Unfolding in paragraphs and pages of emotions.
My world my way my decisions my mistakes I own them.
Letting it all be seen and heard has enlightened me.

I  was inspired by pain I felt at the start of this.
I had not lived my life well it had lived me instead.
No plan on what would come out no clue what I was doing.
Then I turned and went another way I found my Joy.
I found it in the telling of my deepest  true self .

Thoughts experienced actions taken Bravery found.
My views seen at last by my eyes on a page.
Allowing ,sharing hopefully inspiring and  healing.
Taking time listening to other needing to be heard.
Knowing this small acts worth to them is priceless.

Bailey- Ryan Rose

Miss Bailey - Ryan Rose Rios is a work of divinity.
She is a gift bestowed on this little family.
Came into this world of to show us her Grace.
She has taught us about determination and guts.
All in the span  of her 11 years she has lived so far.

My Grandaughter is on the Autistic spectrum.
I say this with what was once a heavy heart about it.
The questions the why this child why her unanswered.
Its not who she is its what makes her amazing in our eyes.
This tough, funny, snappy Cookie is a force to be seen.

Her intelligence is still leaving us scratching our heads.
From an early age she showed us she is special.
Little tell tale signs that pointed to her gifts.
From language to art she has found her passions.
She sings in Russian and loves cultures of all kinds.

A little brain that absorbed what called to her and ran with it.
Astonished time after time with the depth of her hunger.
Her brain a sponge to everything never forgetting anything.
Sassy like her mother strong like no child I have ever seen.
Watch out world this young lady will blow your mind.

She sings she draws in styles that she alone owns.
Studying on her ipad asking questions telling facts.
Knocking our heads with the intensity of her genius.
Her puzzles solved without much effort from her.
They leave us open mouthed at their complexity.

Bravery should be included in this mix it owns her.
Sassy and on point about her  beliefs she knows who she is.
Don't try and change her she is chiseled in stone.
Wonder to us who are privileged to be her family.
She teaches us every day her spirt frees us .

Look at the world how you see it not how others do.
Be who you are that is what life should be .
Love the things that inspire you sing out loud.
She teaches us how to be human with her being.
Reminding  us who know and love her anything goes.

Speak

Speak your words loudly they will be heard.
Say it for once and for all free yourself.
Take a deep deep breath and say Fuck It.
Why the hell shouldn't I just say what I really think.
I am an adult after all I am in Love with an idiot.

I say this with more love than I have ever felt.
I adore you complex as you seem to be.
A hard nut to Crack  is what you would have me think.
Sorry but I can read you like a favorite book.
I've gotten quite good a deciphering the words.

Your nonresponse to all I have dared to divulge.
That in it self is telling your silence roars hear me.
I have no need to listen it flows out of us doesn't it.
Nothing I do seems to affect this fragile balance.
Every little move you make shakes it as if to waken it.

I am a strong strong woman I now understand much.
Fool is not a word I can ever be again I've done her.
That is not living that is waiting to Die a slow death.
If I seem Crazy so be it I am finally living Happy.
Unafraid of exposing my truths to you.

All those words of praise to you all thease pages.
You are reading our book as if you've never had before.
Yet I feel you already knew it by heart memorized.
Who are you trying to fool not me you know you can't.
I see you and you see me that's all there is.

So Babe I will keep speaking Loudly to you.
I know you hear me  I know you feel me  I know.
Strong Yet Fragile, Outspoken yet Shy I know.
Silent and Humble Torn yet determined I know.
Loved beyond beyond You Know.

Stuck

Here it is again rearing it's ugly head writers block.
Can't exactly say why I feel like it's comming.
How can I possibly be here again have I run dry.
So many ideas still running through my head.
They seem to be stuck there again waiting to be freed.

Emotions that's what I think drives me to write.
They all converge at my fingertips for a chance at life.
Me first hurry hurry let me out feel me again.
Raw they wait to sculpted by my hands by my brain.
I lie I  know why I feel I can't write  this is getting hard.

Life has become real again my little furlough has ended.
Back to dealing with life's mundane everyday tasks.
No grand gestures I want to share right now.
I keep them silent in my heart held oh so close.
Cherishing them as I go through my days

I refuse to let myself be burried in the mire once again.
Keep my chin up feel that love and hope I have found.
Use the knowledge I have been awoken to and thrive.
Walk  tall and  be determined grab the goodness I now see.
Be the Goddess I have been anointed to be.

Back to that ride  with the brass ring ready to be snached.
Up and down the ponies go as the music plays for their dance.
Slowly stopping to let off riders  and take the ones  next in line.
Music churning to a stop waiting for another song to be played.
Eager I wait for another ride on the carousel called chance.

I guess I've given myself leave to write what I must.
This gift that has been  bestowed upon me gides me
Joy and Faith Stregenth and Wisdom grace my words.
My story exist my words imortalized in my blood.
One drop filling pages backed in brick red.

So here I am not seeming so stuck after all.
Seems like my self  imposed block does not exist.
Am I trying to hide away not allowing myself my passion.
Keeping my self tucked away for another page to be written.
There is always so much to be said pages will be full as is my life.

Faith

Waiting has never been easy for me
Or maybe  it's due to the fact that nothing ever went my way.
Faith hadn't blessed me with her overabundance at all.
Other than my family, blessing didn't come too often.
No not this time again and again a cycle ever turning.

Now here I am  in reverence of that cycle.
It turns out that is what led me back to you.
Looking for you where you were always with me.
That wasn't all this was to be there was even more.
I wait not caring now there's no need you are there.

We are living our lives as we have been all along.
Hopefully with a lightness that is ours alone.
Trying to be happy in what is and what isnt.
Making every day easier with a calming echo of hope.
Walking the altered path that is set before us each day.

Stealing little patches of the days thinking of you out loud.
Your presence ever there pulsing inside it soothes me.
Litte messages that  fill our minds with tranquility.
That fill my heart at empty momets with your light.
Affection and warmth expressed in little words meaning so much.

Its not enough it's everything inspiring all consuming.
Faith sits on my sholder intuitive messages of just wait.
Not wishful thoughts but facts  to be relized.
Time is still a player in ths we cannot alter it, it ticks away.
Each moment of the clocks hands felt silently moving.

Faith has the lead role in this still learning it's lines.
Insights not to be pushed aside they are the script.
I am not the writer of this the universe is.
Taking time to notice us and make us read again and again.
Not letting us edit it just yet but digest and play as is.

Little Mermaid

A few weeks ago as I entered the pool area at work.
I saw that it was almost empty except for 1 swimmer.
She was so graceful in her strokes as she swam up the lane.
I stood there looking at her amazed so beautiful the sight.
I entered the pool in my favorite lane right beside her.

I did a few laps and was still in awe as she swam by.
As we paused for a momet I told her she was a great swimmer.
Smiling and talking  little bit I told her I was self taught.
I also told her I wished I could swim like her so perfectly.
We swam for a while more and waved good bye.

Saw her again in the locker room later on and spoke again.
She was so tiny for an 8 year old like a little mermaid on leggs.
I told her I would never swim like her she was so good.
She looked at me right in the eye and said she would  help me.
I looked at her astonished with a huge smile I hugged her.

Next time I went for a swim she was in the pool again.
She was 2 lanes away from me and moved over when I got in.
She wanted to swim next to me again she said with a grin.
So we swam together again enjoying the company in the water.
As I looked over to her lane I smiled at my new little friend.

I loved swimming along side her trying to keep up with her.
Seemed like our schedules were the same for the pool
We would swim side by side a few more times.
Me trying to keep up with her and her slowing to to my pace.
I got to look foward to this it was almost like a game.

She is back in school now I swim alone now inspired.
Yesterday I got there too early too much free time before work.
As I got in I remembered I had made  goal to do a mile by September.
I had pushed this away thought no way too soon not ready.
I looked at the water and thought no way not today.

Then Alina the little Mermaid smiling came to my mind.
I got in still unsure counting laps in my  head as I swam.
Looking at the clock  keeping track of my pace but not rushing.
Got to lap 64 and just kept going knowing my body would rebel.
When all said and done did 70 laps in 50 minutes my personal best.

Inspiration I have learned  comes in ANY form look it's there!

Questions

I have spoken about Fear before such an emotion.
It keeps us from the basic truths we all face in life.
The ideas in our heads that we cannot escape.
Ones we wish we could push aside but linger still.
Longings now creeping out afraid to be exposed.
At war with fear keeping them at bay safe at a distance.

Do the honorable thing stay the course life has paved.
Be the person you made yourself to be the one you built.
Or be the one who pulses inside through your heart and veins.
Don't forget we are not imortal we bleed ,we cry , we laugh,we desire,we die.
No one can be us our blood flows through us alone.
Feel the push and pull of yes ,no ,maybe, no choice, no answer.

Fear keeps us doing the right thing the expected.
It keeps us praying it brings us to despair it leads us.
Move away there is another way to go up to you alone.
Make a choice to do away with pretense allow it to run away.
Let truth be the one to keep you on a clear road you choose.

Reality bites I have heard it can devour you without remorse.
Then it spits you out as if it was never satisfied with the taste.
Answers all caught up in this is life as we made it planed it.
Wishing for life as we feel it dam the one we made so cheaply.
And sold to the highest bidder too tired to hope for more.

Crossroads led astray by hope fighting with obligations.
Visions hidden to veil their importance from our sight.
Emerging  in little glimpses that blind us with their brilliance.
Making one look at the future and question again and again.
Making it  clear this is not some fairy tale Fear can demolish.