18 Months

I keep going back over the past 18 months over and over.

What sending that Letter has done for me.

It has given me the me who was lost in that song.

Some may say your too emotional but that is me.

Me finally letting my feelings be felt.

There are many different kinds of people in this world.

Tough, weak, smart, go getters, scholars,all kinds of unique people.

One cannot make oneself fit into what one is not.

Without thinking we put ourselves into what is expected.

We lose ourselves even before we find ourselves. 

I had become someone I was not inside that wounded me.

In many ways I still feel that wound which may never be healed.

I have learned that I can bandage it but the scar it cannot be hidden.

I have embraced hope, love and above all else faith in me.

Looking to no one but me in what I know is my path.

I hold that letter to my heart it saved me in ways none can know.

Its responsible for my sanity, my lunacy, my reason for being.

So yes I've let my emotions all out to be seen to be felt.

Yes I still feel lost but now at least I now it's going to be fine.

My Choice

Today I Defended my choice to not Date.
Why have I chosen to remain single,
Even though I am no other way to phrase it in Love.
No I am not waiting for Him no Need for that.
I Need nothing but the knowledge of his feelings.
People are so caught up in the Physical world.
They cannot conceive the concept of love without it.

You should date a friend said to me meet someone.
When I answered I have chosen not to she looked confused.
Your such a good woman you deserve someone who is here.
I smiled at her and answered I cannot My Heart is full.
I wont lie there are times I mourn for a hug or kiss.
I have found I will not die without them.

What I feel in my existence to my very core is Pure Love.
It has no boundaries of the flesh it sustains my Soul.
It needs no explanation to anyone even those closest to me.
Those who look at me and say she deserves so much more,
will never understand me.
The fact is that I am past the pettiness of  life's rules.

I am comfortable in my choice it was mine to make.
I am truthful to myself in this and know it is right for me.
I respect myself for the first time in my life.
It brings me strength knowing it was my choice.
A choice maybe no one else can or will ever understand.
It only matters to me and this is what I want.
   

Lifted

On days when I feel like the sunshine won't reach me.

On days the grey clouds wont blow away.

You lift me.

On days where  impossible wants to rule.

On days where No's, Never and are you kidding me

keep running in my head.

You lift me.

High High Higher.

You lift me.

To where I've never been.

To a place where it all seems so simple.

Somewhere I needed to know.

You lift me.

For you my Muse

Seems I cant have a blank piece of paper in

front of me and think about you at the same time.

Te Amo mi Alma

Talk dirty to me

Talk dirty to me make me blush. 

Send me words my eyes cannot believe.

Let me feel your references so carnal.

Make me feel the want the hunger that grows.

Touch me with words full of implications.

Make me wide eyed at the thoughts.

Send me to that place only lovers know.

Share your Fantasises make me feel the ache.

Take me to that private world that lives inside you.

Embrace me with all those sexy thoughts.

We share the longing we share the dreams.

Talk dirty to me only you are allowed.

Keep invading my dreams 

They belong to you alone.

Love you I.