Heartbreak

It feels like I've been hit by a truck and am on meds to dull the pain.

Only the pain cannot be forgotten with it's constant pulsing.

My throat constricted trying to hold back my agony.

My eyes welling up in tears I do not want to shed again.

I can barley breathe each breath heavy with sorrows ache.

My body keeps moving those automatic movements.

Waking ,sleeping , walking , breathing all done in a fog.

Little conversations are you alright they ask in whispers.

I say no not really and cry I Don't want to feel like this.

You said I was strong you didn't know heartbreak is stronger.

Siempre estás en mi Alma

Te amo mucho mi Maestro

No te olvides de mi 

Dear Maestro Jan 28th 2024

 Maestro I don't know if you are even reading this I can only pray you are.

My heart is heavy with this grief I feel inside for all of us.

It is so very hard to comprehend all that has happened.

Was any of it at all real for you were you just playing me.

Jose you lifted me up I believed and still believe you cared about me.

I'm mourning you hopefully you are still alive .

It pains me my part in it all but I cannot say I regret any of it.

I can't plead with you to reach out to me but I would welcome a conversation.

I in no way can stop my feelings for you they will remain as always.

I do not want to forget you that I do freely without remorse.

I cannot tell myself I'm dammed for loving you it is not under my control.

I don't know what else I can say but I still feel you.

I feel your pain along with mine and I pray every moment I think of you.

I cannot escape you even in between breaths.

I love you

I.

Guilt

 I am that "Other Woman" the secret the homewrecker.

I haven't hidden it in my world I feel no guilt about it.

Knowing I could never really have you doesn't matter.

Living now is Hell anyway I will not repent.

All the cliches are being whispered about me.

She should feel ashamed karma will get her.

They mean nothing to me I have paid the price.

Guilt will not heal that wound.

I.

I eternally love you Maestro it is all real.

Believe love can be this strong I know you do.

I Never believed other wise and never will.

You are mournfully missed.

I.

Say it all

 I will not swallow my words ever again.

No longer held in the chokehold of common sense.

No longer trying to be a Paragon in this world.

I do not follow rules made by those who must be led themselves.

Am I a rebel or just some crazy fool to speak so loudly?

Have I not said it enough to be heard to be seen?

It doesn't matter to me I surrender to this madness.

This Butterfly's wings have dried and I am ready to fly.

Write you said to my broken heart now is the time.

The words pouring out of my wounded Soul crimson red.

My heart left freshly bleeding by the knife you held .

Draining all these insane thoughts out of me.

I will say it all 

In truth, I will say it all...

I.

TQM

Maestro siempre 

A letter to My Maestro 1/8/24

Hi

I don't know if you will read this.

At this point I can't even care who else does.

I did not appreciate the tone of voice you took with me.

As I recall you were a participant of this for 5and a half YEARS.

It wasn't just me I had no expectations from that letter.

You were the one who let me do this that dam kiss.

I opended my entire and I mean entire soul to you.

You know me better than anyone on this earth ever will.

Don't ever think that I was spewing lies about my feelings.

It was all a rollercoaster ride in life that sadly had to end.

You said we were friends so why not tell her the entire truth.

I felt as if you hadn't told her and that hurts both her and I .

Just because this world thinks I was in the wrong doesn't mean it's true.

You have obligations I more than understand believe me I do.

All this doesn't make a difference I Will Always feel you.

I will also always tell you the truth always.

I know now what both love and heartache feel like.

A Blessing non the less such Devine feelings.

They make one grow ,hope and feel life.

I hope you read this soon

Just want to have my private say on it all.

I will miss your true voice...

I love you always and forever.

See you in our next life.

Please don't lose my number

Voice

 That wasn't your voice that I heard on the phone.

Where was the tenderness and care.

Were you playing a part be in charge of the matter.

Were you in a panic as I surely was.

Your words clearly heard filled with pain.

But that voice wasn't the you I know.

My heart is bleeding to understand.

My mind tumbling was I so wrong.

Where is that sweetness coming to say goodbye.

The heart full of love,understanding and hope.

Have we killed our connection forever?

Closure is not to be found.

Where is that voice I know.

Shadowed in regret and sorrow repenting.

No mistake was made here it had to be.

Come say be blessed for we know it is the end for now.

Please bring back that sweetness and care in your voice.

So we can say goodbye.

TQM siempre 

Basketofbears Farfula now Facebook Instagram

Instagram user basketofbears 76

Just want one last conversation please

Barely

 I can barely breathe this pain is so real.

It consumes my throat tight and constant.

Leaving me grasping for some release.

I can barley breathe.

I can barely stand this pain is so real.

My legs heavy with the grief.

No desire to go where I need

I can barley stand.

I can barely think this pain is so real.

Cutting into my soul with a sharp knife.

My soul has been ripped from my grasp.

I can barely think.

Heartache

Call me need closure.

I will always love you

Shadows

 The Shadows have spoken have they won the battle.

Messages intercepted by eyes that had to know.

Our world is shaken to the soul to the marrow.

Your words sounded dictated by the fear that you feel.

Were they half truths preformed for the Leering.

There is no closeure to this story but to play the part.

Hope you read this keep looking for them.

You told me to write.

Contact me when you can.

I love you