A simple life

I have always lived a simple life.
One where what I had was more than enough.
Growing up in The Bronx made that easy.
No  expectations of a grand life we just lived.
A simple life full of struggles and laughter.

How can one laugh at this sort of life you say?
Finding no quick way to change it made us crafty.
My Mother found ways to strech our meger resources.
My Father on the other hand Drank his all up.
His never ending pride is now eating him up in his old age.

The things l learned from that part of my life  are still in me.
Find a way to make the best out of the worst.
How to just be happy to have what you do.
Be grateful for what is given to you it may have some use.
Be smart ,be kind to others, share what you have.

This simple life of not having has made me.
Its made me into a caring person who ask nothing.
A person who cares about those who have less.
I put others ahead of me , I put those in need in my mind.
I never want to forget how I grew up.

Living in Ct. has been strange for me.
All this Keeping up with the trends is not for me.
Reeling in my kids from the little Clicks in school.
Wanting things that they didn't need.
No you can't have those shoes too expensive.

Having an Ex who needed a new car to be happy.
Things like this don't impress me at all .
Keeping up with the Jones is not me.
Now show me someone who makes life work.
A life that I recognize a life I respect a life I live.

I've had my want to throw in the towel days.
And I've had my great  great days.
I've had days  I want to bury my head and start over .
But I've gotten up and just kept going.
A simple life is what I do keeping it such is fine for me.

Love at a distance

I didn't get how two people could fall in love.
I mean via the Internet , texting, phone calls.
Now I can see , feel and almost taste the concept.
OK we do have a prior relationship of sorts.
I don't think either of us would disagree about that.

Not that it wasn't kismet because it was and is.

OK getting back on point here
Falling in love via technology sounds unreal.
I was very wrong on this one.
I have to laugh at myself I had become such a cynic.
And then WAM I was a goner ,a lifer, an adult teenager.

I feel very bad for others finding them selves here.
Its not for the faint of heart or the weak minded.
You have to trust your inner voice truthfully.
You have to trust your faith in what you know is real.
You have to trust the other person in this.

Words spoken, written , emojs even pictures sent
Emotions felt through an email or text how can it be.
The air even carries waves of connections that can be felt.
Sexual energy without being tuched yes this does  happen.
Thought I was losing it when it did now I just enjoy it.

Hearing each others voices can so intimate.
Not speaking back but drinking it in to savor it's richness.
Waiting for Xmas morning but the gift is already open.
Being stronger, walking taller  and at peace with life.
Knowing, feeling the bounty of this godsent offering.

I can say without any reservation that it can happen.
A few weeks even months ago I said to myself.
I just want someone to talk to someone.
Even if it was only online ok just a pal of sorts.
But the universe sent me something so much more.

So yes I know this now
LOVE has no boundaries
Distance isn't a curse  but a catalyst in this.
Weaving a net of occasions to be expressed in new ways.
Building a bond that is indeed real.

Here to Stay

One month ago today we started a miracle.
We opened ours eyes on that day not knowing.
Not knowing that a few written words just words
Would change our world forever.

A simple hello a thank you for being a bright spot in me.
Little did I know the wave of emotions this would bring.
Little did I know the strength I was to gain.
Simple words NO seems to be the case here.

Shock our systems wake up time to live again.
No more wallowing in self pity we are worth so much.
Not a one sided admission we are stronger  then we feel.
There is something to live for there are still sparks in ths life.

Re kindled romance NO  this is so much more.
A dialogue reopened  sentiments expressed.
A forbidden bond that shouldn't exist but does.
A bond that that survived the test of time.

A memory that helped us both  endure.
A place in our head that held us that held our smile.
There you are come ease my pain.
Keeping it safely tucked away for later use.

Simple words yet the world around us has changed.
We see, we listen , we understand nothing at all.
We are blessed , we are enlightened, we are reborn.
There is nothing simple in any of this at all.

For the rest of my life I am grateful to have you.
Every breath we take reminds us life can be good.
That the waves of love we send out do come back to us,
That we are in each other and are here to stay.

For you once again  you are my Muse ,you are my
Inspiration, you own my heart  and opened my
Mind forever  Maestro.

Ly I

Quiet Dawns

I don't sleep well no matter how hard I try.
I've actually given up on having a normals night of rest.
I've blamed it on hormones I've blamed it on shit.
The stuff in everyday life that stays in your head.
The things that a goods night sleep can't solve.

Most of the time it's just imagined scenarios in my head.
I laugh when people say you just have to sleep on it.
Don't they get it no sleep not exactly but very little.
I read somewhere that they are people who do ok without it.
I don't mean they don't sleep but  need very little.

I do get things done in the early hours of my days.
From cleaning up to finishing up what ever project I can.
I've come to  cherish those quiet hours before dawn.
I write in thease mornings ,I listen to my ever present music.
Coffiee , my tablet, my couch, my phone nearby.

The hours go slowly the night disappearing in slow rise.
I love looking out the window as dawns glow apears.
I hear the birds welcoming the new day in song.
The trees moving in the slight breeze.
Their rustling adding to the mornings concert.

Quiet time to calm my mind to soothe me.
Sleep is not missed in thease still hours.
Why do people think you can only rest when asleep.
I have found that tranquil place in my days here.
Sleep is not missed I rest with open  eyes in the quiet dawn.

Swim

I'm a self taught swimmer not the best but I get it done.
The Russian swim instructor at work tried to teach me and gave up.
Not that it was impossible but he saw it was my way or nothing.
So I took his tips and swim to my own beat now.

With flippers on my feet go nowhere without them in the water.
My silly swim cap on glasses safely  tucked away ,
The water isn't too cold it caresses me as I jump in my lane.
I dunk my head under to ease the shock of it nonetheless.

Then the magic takes me over laps to be counted in my head.
I try to be calm and let the pace come to me slowly at first.
The stroke of my arms the kick of my legs increase lap by lap.
The breaths I take going from slow to almost sharp inhaled qlups.

The serenity of the pool the sound of the water being pushed away.
The echo like feeling in the huge  cavernous room.
The feeling of bliss which I have likened to sex.
Like a lovers arms the liquid the surrounds me.

I wish I could swim more like other people.
The beauty in their form their perfect turns under the water.
The controlled movement's of bodies as they glide back and forth.
Then I remind my self that those people aren't me.

Another gift I feel I gave to me just me.
Swimming my filler of empty time wished spent elsewhere.
But having fallen under its hypnotic spell I relish it now.
Yes it calls to me that water that pool of freshness.

It says to me come and be free in its embrace.
So I swim , breathe. Stroke , savor each second.
I come away calm , clearer mind, heart racing.
Ready for what the day brings till next time.

Wine

I am not an avid wine drinker by a long shot.
I enjoy the weekend bottle of wine at the most.
Whatever is cheap a gift from a friend don't matter.
Just drank for buzz of it at first but then it became a search.

The hunt for that wine that taste like ambrosia.
The nectar of the gods the bottle you wish would never end.
A flavor so rich and full on your tounge that it coats it.
Lots to try when you know almost nothing about it.

What i do know is having found my perfect bottle I wanted more.
I went back as soon as I could 2 bottles home put away.
The problem it's call to my taste buds the rich honey of it.
My stock pile down to 0 I  went back and there was no more.

So now I think I understand why we keep drinking it.
We are searching for our own individual ambrosia
So the flavors may be good to some and not others.
The perfect blend for everyone is different.

I rather enjoy the search feels like I can dysect the wine.
I can taste the sweetness the tartness the heaviness of it.
I can taste the fruits and the richness of the grapes.
The smell also tells of its nature it's soil.

No I am no expert at all no  sommelier of fine wine.
Let me keep searching for that elusive bottle.
The one who will fill me with a mouthful of pleasure.
And a victory dance at having found it again.

Conversations

7/25/18

Conversations are few it's a hard thing.
Long drawn out talks filled with words of love.
Talks about a future that holds no real plan.
That is  our reality that is our pain.

Cramping so much into stolen phone calls .
So much to say that cannot be written.
My ears drinking in every word every deep breath taken.
Hearing the loss he feels in his voice.

Its not just me that time has  screwed I know this now.
Did he know all thease years what I didn't comprehend.
Did he have to suffer all that time did he feel my loss.
Knowing that he did makes me weep.

Love what a gift time passed and still the love was there.
I think he knew from our first phone call.
I think he knew when he held the letter in his hand.
Something I hadn't let me know just yet.

So he just wated to see if I relized it and then I did .
He let me find that place in me that knew.
He let me remember all on my own.
He let me belive it is all true he knew it.

This is not because of memories this is now.
We are studying each other in a way.
Learning who we are now and discovering what we believe.
Seems so much in common that's a good thing.

Learning this or that litte fact that fits into the puzzle.
Knowing things in unspoken connections.
Mourning time passed relishing time to come.
Knowing that today that love grows that it's not done.

We will take it we will find a way.
This journey is not just begun the break is over.
Yeah time screwed us but it also brang us back together.
To see to feel the love that was there all along.