The Letter

I never forgot those few moments we crossed paths.
In a room full of people it was like you were calling to me.
Yes I had someone beside me and so did you.

Did you even know my heart jumped  when ever I saw you.
It was almost like looking at a star I could never  hope to reach.

I did reach that star once but it was a shared moment not just for me.

Too young to understand too scared to listen to the voice that whispered  in my heart.
A moment gone and never fully understood by my youthful self.
A moment that left me with a longing I would carry with me for many years.
A smile when ever I thought of you you touched my soul and you  didn't even know it.

We had another brief encounter quite by accident we saw each other again.
You asked me over for coffee but all I wanted to do was fall into yours arms.
This time it would have been different just you and I.
I hoped for something I didn't even know myself hoped you would see and know.
Fate is a fickle thing it can give you hope and wash it away in an instant.

As I left not knowing the paths my life would take I felt lost.

But youth has hope always so I went and lived the life before me.
A life full of love ,pain and joy but mostly an inner loneliness.
I didn't have the time to dwell on me family came first always.

As days turned into years and years decades I lived  on.
Buried a lost soul I loved and tried to save.
Married for all the wrong reasons loneliness.
Raised children found a  joy in being a mother my one true salvation in life.

I became a show in someone else's afterthought a mistake wished not taken.
I lost the me I was to become and then it was over just like that.
Leaving a slew of emotions that almost broke my fragile self.
Leaving me to search for the person I lost in the song I knew all too well.

But as fickle as life can be faith is always there.
One finds the strength to go on and hope just maybe someday.
And then there you were in my memory again enter the smile.
Nothing ventured nothing gained no words ran truer in my mind.

So pen to paper careful words written a joke to make you smile.
2 stamps for good measure in the mail box it went.

And like Pandoras  box I found hope.
That at least my memories were appreciated for what they were.
I would by lying if I said I wasn't anxious. 
Then a peek at my email sent my heart racing and put the smile on my face once again.

For JLM ly

I don't know what this all means but what ever happens is magic to me.
And thanks you you have gotten me writing again.