40 year's

Pain is what I have been feeling the past few days a sweet sweet pain.
40 Fucking  years gone God Dam It and I say this with great anger.
I also say it with disbelief in what has transpired in only a few days.

A miriacle once again and Baby I have seen a few of them.
I still doubt this I've been wrong before  very very wrong .
But this feels all too real this has knocked me on my ass.

40 years gone but maybe with a purpose.
Maybe it wasn't our time maybe we both had to grow up.
Now we are or are we and I feel so blessed.

Am I being selfish am I really worthy of what I feel.
Is it really our time if not then when?
I think I understand the story he told me about fears.
It's moral is don't worry about what you cannot predict.

I will stop with the worries and just breathe deeply.
Being struck by a ton of bricks that's what this feels like.
Wiplash is another way I can describe it.

I once fell and hit the back of  my head .
As I tried to get up the world spun around me.
It was like I was looking at things in a fog.
This sort of feels like that

I will forgive the Devine intervention That is keeping us apart still.
I accept the blessing that I found him again.
And I cheer at my sheer hootzva at mailing that letter.
But life can be fickle still.

We don't really know each other at all.
I can only truly speak for my self and that raw emotion I feel.
That ton of bricks has saved my soul.
It has taken my sadness and replaced it with hope.

He said to me yesterday something that made me belive.
He said if we had known then I'm sure we would still have been together now.
Words that shocked my heart but I knew that fact is true.

So 40 years of a festering heart that didn't know.
I own part of the blame on my youth.
It wasn't our time yet I may never really be our time.
But I know the love is here now.