I went to where I never expected to go this week .
My father's bedside his death bed truth be told.
I went to try and find some closure for myself not him.
I had not seen him so many years I couldn't count.
He was not missed in my life I was living with his clone.
The room was small as we went in and there he lay.
This man who's very existence made me possible.
Hooked up to life support and suffering in it all.
They say Karma is a Bitch there it was before my eyes.
Was this too much or not enough?
How could I see him like this and not feel anything.
I sat near that bed I looked at him a fragile and broken man.
Someone who could have had a much better end than this.
A man who like forsaid clone cared only about himself.
A man who raised his hand at my mother too many times.
Yes it happened to me also I have felt the hand of an idiot.
They say you marry your parents this is true.
I endured this pain in my own life I cried my mother's tears.
Men so indifferent to their families their love for self ruled.
My parting words to him harsh and right to the point.
I forgive what you didn't do for us as a family I said.
I forgive what you did to my mother but I will never forget.
I said this softly alone with him for a momet it had fo be said.
I said I know how Mom felt as if he could hear me I hope he did.
One day I will say this again this time to the one who did it to me.
I felt no shame in this it had to be done I had to let it go.
Years of feeling the pain I shared with my mother.
I did this for both of us she would never speak the words.
I didnt go there to do this but it felt right no holding back.
Last chance to see him it had to be done closure.
I left the room for a while upon my return I Prayed.
I prayed to God the Devine or whatever greater good is out there.
I prayed for his soul and his suffering to end soon.
I prayed if there is a next life and his soul finds my mother's again,
That he treat her like she deserves to be treated like the angel she is.
So yes I cursed him on his death bed.
Yes I said harsh things to him in Hope's he heard.
He wasn't going anywhere until he knew and was forgiven.
I had not planned any of this I am not an evil woman.
But I did it for every woman out there who has been abused.
I did it for my mother I did it for me.
Parting words
I
