Much too long

Every thing is not about me.
There are unknown people who also love him.
This is not who I am but how can I not do this.
I've never under stood how any woman could dare do this.

I am in love with anothers husband oh shit.
I feel like I have a right to him I saw him 1st.
But that's not fair and I know it it's childish.
I know she does exist he told me.

Nameless  wife forgive me I know what I am doing.
I'm being selfish and fencing with my souls mate.
I know so much better than this but alas I yearn for him.
Does living through litiral hell not once but twice excuse this?

Since I was too young to know why I have wanted him.
I haven't physically seen him in the flesh in so long.
Yet my body is slowly craving him more and more how?
There are no answers in this storm that is sitting on our heads.

Does he even understand how much his words touch and scare me.
Does he even understand how frightening this is.
That ths is more bitter than sweet and I can't be hurt by him.
And that I wouldn't change a thing not one thing.

I just hope the Universe is right on this.
That we cannot stop this.
Hearts are broken and need to be healed.
Time has denied  this for much too long.