Part of this

I've changed so much yet there are parts of me I can't .
Stronger than I have been in a very very long time.
Focused  on myself on having and doing  for me alone.
For once not giving a shit about anything but what calls to me.
For what I want that makes me whole at no cost to ego .

Perhaps  the parts of me I can't change should remain.
Are those the parts that are the root of me .
The core to myself where I grow my persona me.
The parts that scare me the intensity my of passions.
My pride my convictions my hopes my dreams.

I am so complacated to myself so hard to pace it.
My brain constantly running trying to stay in line.
Overthinker  trying to live one day at a time .
Trying to put one foot in front of the other .
Letting it all out so I don't explode with my scenarios.

Remembering  what you once said to me ...
Don't worry what tomorrow brings live for today.
Trying so hard to remind myself of this everyday.
Part of all this I can't quite master yet if ever.
I survive on wishes on hopes on dreams on magic.

I love with no restrictions  at least I've mastered this.
No buffer to this at all no lying it cannot be done.
This may ammout to shooting ones self in the foot.
It hasn't of yet so the dance continues slowly.
Being mindful of the impact it may be hoping for.

Manipulation  games not intended not wanted.
Knowing my truth and running with it to what end.
Praying I don't destroy the connection to my soul.
The home I  feel my heart has stumbled  upon.
My kindred my stregenth comes from this I am certian.

Amens and prayers a way of life altered for the good.
Truth and words finding no boundaries  spit out as they are felt.
Worries of health no contact that alarms me .
Is he alright did something happen will I ever know.
This is my nightmare what if this happens it's a part of this.